To Thine Own Self Be...

I was rifling through my old school stuff last night and I came across something interesting.

So my grade 12 English teacher made us write short stories about different moments in our lives that created a shift in our thinking... an epiphany if you will... and this is what I came up with:

To Thine Own Self Be...

The game of life is one that may seem easy, but to some, can come with extreme difficulty.  What I mean is, life is not always simple.  When it comes to teenagers, there is always something that lies hidden from everyone else but themselves.

 

Elementary school was when I first realized that life was not so easy.  It was about grade six, the same year that the girls started liking the guys.  Cooties were officially extinct and hormones were over abundant.  It was also the year of my first boyfriend.  Alright, before I tell you the story, I have to clear up a few things.  First of all, I'm not a bad person, and second, I was really young when this all happened.

 

Okay, so it was December 1996 and I had just purchased my first pair of skin-tight black dress pants.  They were all the rage back then and everyone who was anyone had a pair.  That was also the year I started hanging out with the so-called "popular" kids.  The two came hand in hand, I swear it all started with that pair of pants.  

 

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I had just arrived at Highbury School for my shops class and there was a group of girls that were known as the prettiest girls in 6th grade standing outside waiting for the bell to go.  Just as I had exited my mom's car, I heard one of the girls yell out to me.

 

"Hey Megan, those pants look awesome on you!"  It was one of the girls I talked to a little bit, but did not really know all that well.  Well, long-story-short, I ended up sitting at their table during class and when it was over we had already made plans to hang out on the weekend.

She introduced me to all the guys that weekend, one of which I already kind of had a crush on.  We'll just call him Tyler...

 

Moving on...

 

As I started hanging out with them more and more often, I had generated somewhat of a good reputation, and as a matter of fact, a couple weeks later I was asked to the Christmas Dance by Tyler himself.  I know what you're thinking; it's corny as hell, I mean, who goes to school dances anyway?  Well, when I was younger it was a very big deal.

 

And so the story goes, I ended up dancing with him just once, and a couple other guys throughout the festivities.  Only days later, I received a note in class telling me to meet him after school in the hallway where our lockers were located.  I knew exactly what was going to happen when I saw him standing there and to my surprise there were others standing around as well.  I was about to get asked out by one of the most popular guys in our grade!  I was really nervous and I'm sure everyone noticed because I barely talked at all.

 

Here's the thing... I didn't really like him enough to go out with him but then when the moment came, I froze.  I didn't want to seem like a loser and I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his friends, so I accepted.  That was a big mistake on my part.  I mean, I had absolutely no interest in the guy other than the pure need to be accepted by my peers so I was basically just going out with him in order to be considered "cool".  I know this sounds bad, but I have a feeling he just asked me because his friends had told him to, so we were even in that respect.

 

In the weeks that followed, we talked a few times on the phone but I really was just not that interested, and I'm sure he could tell.  After a couple of weeks, our relationship dissipated and we drifted further and further apart, as did my popularity.  I felt like every only liked me because of what I was wearing, and who I was dating.  This was not the life for me.  

 

It was right around the beginning of grade eight when I realized that there were people who liked me for me, and nothing else.  I had just met a couple other girls who had gone through similar situations, and we instantly formed a friendship.  When other girls had started smoking and drinking in order to be considered cool, we remained unaffected by the peer pressure in its entirety.  Eventually, once high school rolled around, that same group of girls had realized what we already knew, that the right people will like you for who you are, and not who you are trying to be.

 

Everyone always says that high school is when you first discover who you truly are.  I guess for me, I figured it out a little early and I was just waiting for a few others to catch up.  Soon enough, after having played my cards right, I ended up a social butterfly of sorts.  I did not disrespect anyone, and I was nice to everyone.  I realized that it's not about how cool you are or whom you hang out with, it's about accepting everyone and being the best that you can be, without trying to be someone that you are not.

 

There's no use in changing the way you play the game in order to be accepted on to someone else's team.  Do your best, and the rest will come.  Be true to yourself and I guarantee that someone will think of you as their most valuable player.

Well... that's it!  Keep in mind that I wrote this in grade 12... I tweaked it a bit as I was typing it out... but it's basically the same story...